love is killing? noooo love is expensive

when u talking about love... we simply say that... the love is beautiful, extraordinary, feel everything. But what im trying to say... people who live with loved is a people who very LUCKY. u know what i mean? first of all... love is very crazy to get it. To understand a people, u have to be hypocrite, so called passion and so called make u happy. The truth is, U.. yourself also need a same thing. BEING LOVED.

Why? because u also a human being. Homo sapiens can only get what is homo sapiens do. So dont be hopeful what u have right now. in fact, this is some task that related to your lust. Love that truly expensive can only being achieve by someone who ready to sacrifice, understand the faith of your love one and sincere to accept it handsomely.

Being apart of this worlds, not care if u a transsexual, gay, lesbian, bi, or straight, u have to understand what is your really desire through what u claim as a true love. No one have a correct define through himself, therefore is quite obvious to define a true love mean.

It sounds look very complicated, but the one who stick with the game which just being play, let me guess, it all because of lust.... U see she or he have a good looking, u easily fall in loved... and hope someday we will together for ever.... hahahahaha... the funniest thing about our world is LIES.Happen anywhere. In case u still blurr... let me get u clear...

First, u just have a little chit chat with him or her.... then, u quite want to know him more further instead of he 0r her have a good looking... than get a same story that u can share and like to talked about it. In the mean time, impress, hypocrite, so called care will take over as in case u want to meet him. So start we a AGREEMENT that being perfectly organised, u meet him all of sudden. So bla bla bla... go to some place that interesting us to see.... and the end, end up with SEX.

In this world, i likely to say, we are really notty, because of our past that not enough loved. loved can get anywhere but true love dont... who care if u hurt, pain and have deep argony??? because the one that u love have a same history too... so dont hope it to much!...

people never satisfy... and they will still searching for the perfect one... even though he is not perfect but trust me... god is very fair... if u behave what r u today, u will get couple that also same like u... any how, get use to it if u don have a true loved...

gay and lesbian people... be POSITIVE,,, what ever it is... u were lucky not to born as a handicap and effortless person... just your heart need to sacrifice. We have to know... there are many task that we have to faced! So dont be cruel and too judgmental towards what u faced right now... it may have a blessing on disguised... So not to ask u be more gay... to ask u be more normal and stand for the right path! right nature! and right for yourself in the hereafter...

so who get THE TRUE LOVED please inform me... but i love to say this word.... "saya tak mampu nak mencintai awak, saya hanya mampu menyanyangi awak... saya hanya letakkan cinta saya pada yang satu iaitu Allah" i have define my desire.... so i hope u too :)

so high!!!!!!! i can see all of u!!!

this is what i called, heaven in earth.. realize or not... when i see a cameron highland,,, im just say that is the perfect place to create master piece beyond of that nature... greeny , wide, cool, fresh... oh my god.... i speechless with the BEAUTIFUL OF EARTH... so talking about my experience when go to cameron highland.... actually .... VERY CRAZY...

we go to the cameron... by 13.. and the next day which mean 14 .. i go back to kuching... so from tanjung malim to cameron highland is quite far.... im afraid that when we go back to tanjung malim... we stuck at anywhere so i dont hope it... because the next day is my flight... urghhhhh so crazy plan but very adventure !!!!!!!! i and with my other friend have decided to make a sandwish... hahaha so each of us collect ten ringgit... im the one who very excited because im offer myself to make it.... so i wake up so early in the morning and make the sandwish... luckily my roomate help me to eat hahahaha thanks to Saiful yahya .. credit to him! hahahah lol... but i very miss my time with my mom ... making nasi lemak at 4.00 am

so we start our trip by Amir car... heheheh... the reason why we go to the cameron is... we got a car to travel anywhere..

the long trip... the long distance and quite greeny everywhere... i fill so lovely to get myself lucky before i go back to kuching the next day.... urmmmm i thankful to my friend that make a rushing plan nevertheless.... im fine with it... so before we go to the cameron... i fill the coldness surrounding ... and i start to chill... because cameron vallley uhhhhh very cold! what the most thing that i cant stand is... the coldness water. seriously i think cameron people dont have to take a bath.......! what on earth!!! hahahahah

orang asli is the biggest race at the place... so all the way go to the cameron hill... have orang asli that sell honey, handy craft and durian...luckly not sell a livestock hahahaha... the cultural is so rich with original of people that live at valley and hill... making a house from bamboo... it quite interesting...

the more we go to the destination, the excited we were be... hahaha... so to short the story... we already at the half of the cameron highland... Tanah rata... so this place is a small town that have lots of facility and accommodation to stay... urmmm just like a smallville town... or a cowboy... so many tourist from london ... when i walk at the street im delusion that i at oversea hahahah : P

talking about cameron highland... so much thing and farm to see... wild plant... big flower... flamboyant color... so rich with nature and flower are everywhere ... bizarre plant.... what a wonderful experience... uhhhh let me introduce the farm at the cameron highland....

1. strawberry

2.mushroom

3. rose farm

4. vegetables

5. butterfly

6. cactus

7... pig ( just kidding hahahaha)

yet... it was a very fantastic palace to visit... lots of farm that we visit have they own unique and how the owner create his farm... want to buy any fresh vegetable like white carrots... cabbage.. uuuu so cheap and worthy.... what i like about the cameron is.... rm 10 u can buy lots of vegetables.... strawberry u cant easily pick from they farm,.. u have to buy it... but seriously .. u have to wisely choose and buy it or else.. u will get the rotten and sour strawberry... :( which i already buy the rotten strawberry... huhuhuhu...

the barrier while we have a trip is rain!!!! arghhhhh with chill environment ... how can we bear with the rain that just like snow... until my breath have a vapor .... so talking about the cultural... every where u will see a strawberry t shirt, souvenir, strawberry tea, jam... ohhh so much pink at the town...beside that... tea is a major product that being popular at cameron... which the factory to make a tea boh especially is at cameron... so we also visit the factory ....

story about the tea farm... of course u will see a beautiful of arrangement the tea being planted ... but the fact is, not the beautiful as we get near... so called tea goodies but do i care! hahahaha so about the tea product... u can get lemon flavour, strawberry, papermint, capucino, vanila, lemon grass.... at the original tea BOH factory..... quite expensive but worthy to buy.... not all the product being sell... but if u lucky... u will find the place that really cheap...

talking about vegetables... what can i say... so cheap and i think... if i stay at cameron... surely i practice to eat fresh vegetables everyday.... so that i can get healthier than ever... hehehe :) fresh wind that blew on my face... i fill so calm and get the real tranquility that i wish before....

i really appreciate what god create... so love it Allah.... thanks thanks thanks Allah!!! inspire from cameron.... i will create my master piece later.....

urmmmm by the way.... back from cameron... we have lots thing to buy... especially strawberry, keychain, and tea.... urmmmmm what ever it is... thanks to my friend... saiful (roomate ) shidi, amir (the driver) and also zuki... thanks to you... thanks also to my mom and dad that support me with penny.... :P if not... im just sit back and not shopping. hahahahaah... : P

hai the human who concern me!

water color painting... the white rose... finish 1.1.2012. i never give a try to finish my painting but this time.... what ever it is i determine to finish it... i will do my best... the white rose is usually symbolic to a purity, innocence yet the graceful of all color... what i mean is... so sacred and holy.... by the way.. what i like about the rose is... the flower that i never found it anywhere... the flower that have a thorn although it beautiful to see... the blooming... the color and so with the philosophy that being insert on the beautiful flower.... exactly... there have they on story why i like the rose.... maybe i will not try to story it... but trust me... the story is very sad... indeed a nightmare to me.... heheheh

hope all of you really appreciate what is art... what is the contained of art... and what is the beautiful behind the stroke of the brush... really..! important...

sometime.. i gladly to say that...this is the gateway to express your feeling to visual something what do you think beautiful... the beautiful around us have to be explore... and the beautiful that we see need to be convert in to a painting... or what ever as long that u can express your feeling... to me... i have my own define about art...

"art can get crazy to know it and to overcome nevertheless provide the logical thinking trough out what is right now, past and future because art is with you"

so if u can get what is my meaning... art is free... its simple and no need to get rigid in certain issue yet to get appropriate in drawing. lets just say... when u want to let go your chaotic mind that always on a war, u just express it till u satisfy on the drawing block...

brush stroke... childish drawing... color playing.... u just let it happen in the world that u create in the white paper.....

when u start to blow!

well... firstly i love to say that... im not a good dancer.. each time when i say that... i will be more cofident... u know what.? thats is the way i improve myself in each part because i know what is my weaknesess. hahaha... something that odd to say but that is a normal pattern in my life.... zapin pekajang is the one of the dancing routine that i enjoy in this sem... while i dont have nothing to do... this routine make me more confident than i thought...

its not easy... need a practice and yet... need more detail in each step... talking about which... im quit depress with the step that provide detailed... of course! nominate as a MAKUM person is a big responsible to be had and to accept it... while i thinking about that tittle... once again... im quite dreaming because you bring UPSI name.... its such a heavy responsibility .. nevertheless im just think positive in any aspects... hahahahha what the shame

thanks to my friends that always support me... encik zul that trust me... and also cik murni that give me a new lesson in zapin pekajang although i very hate tradisional dance.... hahahaha because...maybe the original movement make me want to cry ... i have to bend... because i so big and tall.... :P

hahaha anyway ... im miss this dance routine... and not to forget... een, liliy, samn, daus, yoha, faisal, amin, nasrul, momo, pian, am and alif... thank guys... always support me... heheheh im just really want to dance again with u guys... hahaha

talking about experience.... i have many experience that i cant forget... start from choosing .... and then practice in studio... and finally go to the arena... wow... it kind of a big respect... let u olls know.... we just dont get a number... but we get anugerah khas juri.... wow!!!!!

the think that we cant forget... is... while we dance... suddenly light piss off... blackout!!!! but we still dance as usual... hahahaha true story and i say to myself... just focus... what ever happen!!! hahahaha... and we dance in the dark in 5 minute.... what the best part is... we doing a great job and i have lots amazing experience that i want to share!!! hahahaha wuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

by the way.... im just happy with myself... because this is the first time for me...!

when u start to blow!

well... firstly i love to say that... im not a good dancer.. each time when i say that... i will be more cofident... u know what.? thats is the way i improve myself in each part because i know what is my weaknesess. hahaha... something that odd to say but that is a normal pattern in my life.... zapin pekajang is the one of the dancing routine that i enjoy in this sem... while i dont have nothing to do... this routine make me more confident than i thought...

its not easy... need a practice and yet... need more detail in each step... talking about which... im quit depress with the step that provide detailed... of course! nominate as a MAKUM person is a big responsible to be had and to accept it... while i thinking about that tittle... once again... im quite dreaming because you bring UPSI name.... its such a heavy responsibility .. nevertheless im just think positive in any aspects... hahahahha what the shame

thanks to my friends that always support me... encik zul that trust me... and also cik murni that give me a new lesson in zapin pekajang although i very hate tradisional dance.... hahahaha because...maybe the original movement make me want to cry ... i have to bend... because i so big and tall.... :P

hahaha anyway ... im miss this dance routine... and not to forget... een, liliy, samn, daus, yoha, faisal, amin, nasrul, momo, pian, am and alif... thank guys... always support me... heheheh im just really want to dance again with u guys... hahaha

talking about experience.... i have many experience that i cant forget... start from choosing .... and then practice in studio... and finally go to the arena... wow... it kind of a big respect... let u olls know.... we just dont get a number... but we get anugerah khas juri.... wow!!!!!

the think that we cant forget... is... while we dance... suddenly light piss off... blackout!!!! but we still dance as usual... hahahaha true story and i say to myself... just focus... what ever happen!!! hahahaha... and we dance in the dark in 5 minute.... what the best part is... we doing a great job and i have lots amazing experience that i want to share!!! hahahaha wuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!

by the way.... im just happy with myself... because this is the first time for me...!

keakraban terserlah tq ira

thanks to ira sebab bawa mijan g makan kat umah ira... kali pertama di pelawa makan bersama... terasa bersyukur sangat2 kerana kita dihargai... kali pertama juga disambut mesra tanpa rasa kita ini bukan orang asing....

gembira... itulah yang dapat aku ungkapkan... kerana seolah-olah pertolongan kita dibalas dengan keikhlasan... thanks sangat2... aku sebenarnya cukup menghargai apa sahaja yang mereka bagi padaku... walaupun aku tidak pernah mengharap sedikit pun ... : )

padaku.. pemberian orang pada ku... tidak kiralah dalam bentuk apa jua sekali pun... aku amat bersyukur kerana bukan mudah orang buat macam tu kat kita.... tidak pernah sekali pun aku merasakan sesuatu yang bernilai selain dari pemberian orang...

aku bersyukur dengan semua itu ya Allah kerana rezeki... bukan bermaksud aku mengada-ngada untuk tulis blog dan menceritakan kebaikan kawan2 ku... tapi apa yang aku lihat ialah sesuatu yang jarang berlaku pada ku...

siapa lah aku sampai orang sanggup menelrfon ku dan mengajak aku makan bersama? sejujurnya.. aku jarang mahu makan bersama kawan2 ku... kerana aku memang jenis tidak suka makan beramai-ramai... tetapi kali ini aku dapat rasakan keikhlasan terserlah.... syukur pada mu ya Allah..

walaupun orang anggap ini satu benda biasa... tapi bagi ku pula... dari kecik.. aku tidak pernah bahagia bersama kawan2 ku.... tapi kali ini... Kau memberiku sesuatu yang bernilai... thanks ira... kaulah kawan ku dunia dan akhirat... moga,,, ira cepat sembuh... moga ira dapat menempuh hari2 yang mendatang dengan sihat...:) yang penting, selagi mijan kat upsi ni... kalau mijan boleh tolong... mijan tolong.... mijan ucap thanks... kat ira sebab susah2 jer masak daging korban... kalau ira nk tahu.. first time mijan makan daging korban... tqtqtqtqtq...

akhir kata... rasa dihargai dan dipedulikan....

gumbiraaaaa

kenapa aku cakap mcm tu? sebab aku kadang2 tak memahami orang... tak mahu menilai baik buruk sebelum melakukan satu tindakan... aku cuba untuk memahami... setiap jiwa manusia... tapi adakah mereka sedar apa yang aku lakukan kerana aku menyayangi mereka??? tapi aku tertanya,,, siapa yang menyayangi aku? aku ingin sekali bertemu orang yang mcm tu.... mengambil berat pasal kita... menasihati kita... berfikiran matang.... seronoknya dapat kawan yang mcm tu...

dalam hati ni dan setiap hari... aku merasakan sebak bila orang yang kita sayang akan pergi secara perlahan. sebab manusia selalu cepat bosan... tapi terus terang aku katakan... aku tidak cepat bosan dengan orang... aku akan terus menyayangi orang itu walaupun dia pergi meninggalkn aku.... bertapa seksanya jiwa aku kerana ada jiwa yang suka pada orang tapi belum tentu lagi orang suka dekat kita...

terdetik dihati aku... aku tidak mahu mengambil berat.. tapi apakan daya itulah aku.... ak tidak dapat menipu diri sendiri.. apatah lagi org lain... sejujurnya aku mahu jadi org yang jujur.... aku bukan jenis yang hipokrit dengan apa yang aku rasa... namun bila kita terlalu menyayangi org... orang akan rimas dengan kita....

kenapa hati aku ni diduga dengan sedemikian rupa??? nak sayang rasa tak patut... tak nak sayang bukan diriku pula... sejujurnya aku bukan lah org tidak berhati perut... aku sayang ... dan hati aku penuh dengan perasaan... tapi ramai orang yang tidak perasan....

kehadiran aku ini... hanya Allah sahaja yang melihat... mungkin apa yang aku cakapkan ini... ramai yang menafikannya... tapi itu lah yang aku rasa.... sebelum aku mengundur diri... aku mahu ucapkan terima kasih kepada kawan sejatiku yang jatuh dan bangun bersama... yang sentiasa mengambil berat dan luah padaku... kerana kepercayaan nya terhadap ku.... :) aku bukan jenis yang senang dengan kebahagiaan tapi aku akan senang apabila ada orang yang meluahkan masalahnya pada ku... selagi aku boleh tolong... aku tolong dan jenis aku... aku tidak mahu kawan2 ku tergapai gapai tanpa tali.... akhir kata...

jadilah diri sendiri dan Allah itu sentiasa ada tidak kira susah ataupun senang.....